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Cailin - "Summoning the Will"

In 1977 I was killed being kicked in the face by a horse which I was chasing and trying to corral, from the back of another horse. I sustained serious brain damage and did not begin to recover my short term memory for 18 months. Most importantly, I experienced while "dead" a debriefing and reminder of who I really AM and why I came here to this world. All suffering was redeemed in that debriefing and I experienced the key to forgiving in this world. The forgiveness resulted in gales of laughter - shared with the loving Presence who let me in on this cosmic joke. Over the years that followed I have come to refer to him as "Michael". During my near-death encounter with him he showed me that I had come here to learn to "summon my WILL" and then to follow through and call that WILL down to the Earth. That WILL was to bring humanity to a new understanding that would allow them to experience The Kingdom of God here on Earth. I (he showed me) had come with many, many others with the same purpose, and we were to unite in Love to USHER in The New World.
While I was dead, this is the exchange that occurred between my Self and Michael. Please remember as you read that the language of this exchange was not verbal. Complex understandings were passed perfectly from his awareness to mine in a manner that makes it difficult to convey the revealed information in the sequential manner that our brains understand as language. My experience and our exchange went as follows:
Self: "Perfect." I sighed within myself at the moment I shed my body. I felt light and utterly free. A beneficent darkness enveloped me. "I am perfect! NOTHING can EVER hurt me again!" I rejoiced. Suddenly, I became aware that someone was there with me.
Michael: "Nothing could have ever hurt you to begin with. You are an eternal Being." He answered calmly and matter-of-factly, without introduction or debriefing of any kind. And yet, I KNEW Him, and trusted Him completely.
Self: "That being so - and I know it is - then why was it all so scary?"
Michael: "It was necessary that your experience be intensified by the belief in your own mortality, or YOU would have never taken the exercise seriously, and you would not have learned what you went there to learn. Nor would you have done what you went there to do."
Self: "Which was?"
Michael: "You went to learn to summon your WILL."
Self: "What?! I went through all of that just to learn what I want?!"
Michael: "You do not understand what I mean by 'WILL,'" he replied, and a cascade of memories tumbled through my awareness. I was a child, screaming in horror and kicking, trying desperately to shed my first pair of shoes at the age of two. Then I was a four-year-old struggling to escape my pedophile great uncle, leaving my body and watching from a distance, and then I was lifted up into the clouds where I met a flock of jeweled birds that flew around me calling in happy recognition. Then I was shrieking as my father blistered my bum. He held me by the arm as I ran circles around him while he wore a switch out on my legs. Then I was free again and again as abuse after abuse vaulted me out and out and away into the clouds to visit my birds. Then a screened door-spring made the creaking, stretching sound that they make when the screened door is opened, and I smelled the pie, still warm in a napkin, as my mother handed it to me through the back door. And I felt love, all forgiving love, love that knew that all of it had not mattered EXCEPT THE LOVE, because love had taught me that all suffering is redeemed by love - LOVE that forgives in a way that made it all worthwile - so long as you found the LOVE.
I laughed as I remembered that this figmentory "self" was not real at all. I had but put on a body that could suffer so that I could learn to forgive all things - forgive them because they were not real. It was an hysterical joke Michael showed me: The world was a dream and nothing more! It was a jest: The Son of God made captive by the very world He created! And it was only LOVE that could undo the spell of believing in that terribly poignant, terribly beautiful, and yet silly dream.
Suddenly, I re-membered all the "people" who loved me. I recalled their suffering and their love for me. I recalled how they had hated themselves for the pain they had caused me. My Daddy wept begging my forgiveness time after time, and his pain was my own, and it would only stop for BOTH of us: There could be no villain and no victim if the pain were to ever stop. And I did not want him to suffer and so I LOVED him with my whole heart, setting hurt and indignation completely aside. And we grew so much together and he loved me so much for bringing him home to his own love and tenderness. And I felt the world's suffering, and I knew it wasn't real, and I knew that I had been shown a key to dispelling the pain and redeeming it. And the jest was no longer funny! It was tragic! And I wept with Michael, and we wept and laughed together for an eternal instant and Michael said again, "Summon your WILL." And I real-ized that I had to go back because I had come here in a wave of many others like myself, all of us so full of LOVE that we came here together - came to summon OUR WILL - which was the WILL of God: That we awaken from the dream and bring down the Kingdom of God to the Earth that all living Beings might be freed, that we might all awaken and laugh together.
Self: "I must be dying." I realized this because it was all so beautiful and so perfectly simple and it felt so right. "Am I dying?" I asked.
Michael: "Your body is dying," He answered. "It is laying on the ground dying and, unless you can make it stand up, it will die."
I did not even say goodbye. I knew I had to return, but I did not know where my body even was. "How does one return to a no place that is only a dream?!" I wondered in a panic. The panic became a fierce wave of my own WILL, which carried me back to the body. It felt like a rushing wind, and I experienced it as my True Self.
In regards to this experience I have been like a hermit in this world for years now, waiting for the time to be right and wondering if it ever would be right. My family and the world tried to convince me that what I had experienced was not real and, for a long time, I certainly did experience a life that seemed to make what I learned in my NDE irrelevant to this world. No one cared that their life here was just a dream. In fact, the concept frightened them, and so I stopped talking (or doing) much about what I had learned in my NDE. Then my Daddy died and everything changed because I knew where he was and I wanted nothing more than to be with him, and so I began a spiritual journey to prepare for that transition and bring it to fruition what I came back here to do. Now 50 years old, I want to make the most of the remaining years I have here, as many more of my family have recently passed, and I want to be happy with the work I have done here when I see them again. Also, moving confidently forward into this new realm of activity is how I mean to do them, and God and my loving Presence "Michael" and the love we ALL share. . . a tribute.
I would like to say to every ONE in the world that you are not who you think you are. YOU ARE LOVE. LOVE is all there IS. In terms of our REAL lives, which are Eternal and straddle both the temporal world and Heaven, inasmuch as love is ALL you can take with you when you leave this world, LOVE IS THE ONLY REAL THING HERE. Love is all that is Real that you can leave behind in this world as well. It does not rust, or rot, or become dirty and the Federal Reserve can't ever devalue it by printing more money! Therefore, be courageous: In the face of any semblance of loss or sacrifice, REMEMBER LOVE AND ACT IN ACCORD WITH LOVE and it will make whatever you seem to endure here vibrant with grace that will please you and cheer you when at last you look back upon this terribly beautiful, terribly tragic and silly dream we call "life". We will ALL laugh TOGETHER about this "life" in the sweet by and by. Until then, be of good cheer, for the end of all this dreaming draws nigh.
Loving regards for I do LOVE you ALL. Cailin J. Callahan
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