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Diego- "Threshold of Death"

During a deep meditation, I left my body. I flew to a place which was still as if in the gravity of a first floor, before beginning an escalation into the gravity of life. It was a dark dimness. I talked with some beings that told me I was in a total risk vital transition, but that I could ascend further still and talk with someone who would decide if I would come back to my body or not. They said that the more I would ascend, there would be tremendous experiences and the possibility of coming back would decrease. It was probable that the same beings who were talking to me now, would bring me back. It was like a train station where many beings chattered and the colors of that dimension were brownish.
Further away  there were grayish entities that were helped by guides in order to definitely leave their terrestrial life. There was not any true color , besides the tones from black and brown to white. I saw people I knew on earth, who greeted me and continued their ascension. The guides told me I was in the threshold of death. I wondered if the persons who were dying and leaving their bodies in that moment, actually knew where they were.
The guides that accompanied me were kind, tactful and VERY COMPLIANT,  but they were also impenetrable when certain questions were asked. When they answered, they did it with only a smile.  Communication was by telepathy and they knew instantly what I was thinking, but their answers were essential, concise and certain.  My guides were very calmed, unadorned and with a tender sense of humor.
It was then that the judgement began. But I was the one to judge myself. Although they considered that everything was evident, they allowed me to understand all the contradictions, actions, guilt and non guilt which I was feeling from the events of my life.  They comforted me with the precise words and calmed me, and when I felt a violent dialogue within myself, justifying or blaming myself, they made me understand that it was all within the game of evolution and that in depth, the details were intrascendental.
Suddenly I had the sensation I was still in a foggy place near earth. They told me I could take the decision to continue, but it was with a maximum risk for my physical life. Then, identifying myself with my Diego ego in the earthly plane, I accepted to continue, since they were willing to accompany me. I worried because of the risk. Nevertheless, I accepted discretely and humbly, although with the haughtiness of my earth identity, that wanted to have the experience.
At the same time, it was my cosmic conscience that allowed me to take the decision without panic.
We then began to ascend at great speed, without friction or effort, as when one is falling, but in this case, instead , ascending. I was  in a state of reverberation, hearing a zooming sound, and feeling a little dizzy , as though in a car at great speed. The guides then seemed to have disappeared.
In that moment, I understood my panic, asking myself if I actually could resist the situation. Suddenly, with a great scandal of voices, I began to judge myself, to blame myself, to take decisions that belonged to their own code of existence. In that moment, everything was valid and excusable, because it was understood that my own position was a small humble position, in an open game of evolution. If other proposals seemed more valid, they were humbly accepted because there was no real guilt.
After simultaneous cultural, legislative and theological ideas exploded within me, the answer of the guides was... ! intrascedence ! And they pronounced that word with a smile. All the actions I considered so important, actually were not so.
Suddenly, my mind was allowed to rest in a quiet place, so we could then ascend through a translucid tunnel with a light that seemed rather a yellowish opacity.

Then I saw beings, some ascending, some descending. Two of them were known to me on the earth plane, and I had not seen them for more than 20 years. I asked one of them what he was doing in that place, and he told me he had a very serious health problem that had already been solved, reason for which he was going back to his body.
Nevertheless, another lady who was a friend of my family for many years, was leaving the earth plane in a definite way, so I was told.
Then came some guides to take my friend who had been seriously ill, back to earth through a tubular shape in descent. I also observed other tubular shapes through which other souls were ascending, and among them, the lady known to me, whose body had already died.  I inquired if the lady could go back, but they said her time was over. I felt the energy of the lady perturbed, because she did not know she was dead and she was wondering what was happening, but I avoided meeting her.
In that moment my guides smiled. A different lap started in which the path was transparent, silent and compliant.  I felt the pleasure of having my conscience in total calm, together with the tender, but distant company of the guides  and other entities which I could not see. The next moment, I saw  another path were all the dead members of my family appeared, among them my father. I then entered another stage , with a moment of unconsciousness, but I recovered quickly. It was as though I would have crossed a purifying sauna, plunging into unconsciousness, but I soon noticed my consciousness was intact.
I understood I had undertaken a risk of no return, and with repentance, I pleaded to go back, for I knew I had already crossed the threshold of death. In that place everything was brighter, although still not so much. I felt, that only the identity of the affections I had for my family on earth, motivated me to come back to my body.  I had then a slight, but vital sensation of unrest and anguish, for I again understood I had traversed the threshold, so I asked my guides to please give me an answer. They told me that the decision did not depend on them anymore, because we found ourselves in planes that were not of their reach, answer which made me feel dazzled. I asked them if they could keep on accompanying me, for I wanted and needed to have a dialogue with someone, and they kindly accepted.  I felt a nostalgic abandonment, having later on the sensation that they took my hand. We then shot ourselves out at a great cold, mentholated speed, with acute cosmic sounds, pure and deep echoes and the brilliance of a light, so white, almost metallic, in which we flew, that made me feel an agreeable and refreshing wind. There were warm and exquisite odors and a fog, and a flat floor on which I saw the guides standing.
From the white fog, appeared a tremendously golden luminous figure, an androgynous being irradiating a light as bright as the sun, but not hurting my sight.  The figure was well delimitated and began approaching me and becoming bigger in size , as it came nearer, till I saw it a little bigger than myself. I was invaded by  a free satisfaction and wonder from such a beautiful being ! My mind was incapable to understand , and I almost lost conscience, becoming one with him in that immense sensation. I was consoled by this compassionate being.  In this runaway happiness, and with only a thread of conscience left, I turned towards my guides and whispered that I deeply thanked this immense experience, but that I had to go back to the earth plane to undertake unsatisfied small tasks. They answered that my life would go on, nevertheless, as tortuous as it had been, with only a few attainments, and that my life would only last for the time that was planned. Almost nothing of what was planned for me could be changed.
In my great proudness and haughtiness, I remained before this wonderful light being that transcended me, of whom I felt a small part within me, and whose kind and definite answer I waited for. I turned again and looked at the being of light directly, at a distance of about half a meter. He was a being of powerful, beautiful and extraordinary energy, but I could not see his face. I had the feeling that if I did, it would be equivalent to staying. In one instant, the being made me feel an infinitely tender and noble embrace, which is not possible to describe. I understood and thanked him, because everything now was possible, even refusing to stay with him, for I had reasons to go back to earth. In wonderment, I saw how he extended his right arm.  Between us there was a dark abyss, which I could pass by jumping, if I only took his hand, except that no return was possible.  He told me I was free to take my own decision, offer for which I looked at him thankfully and  satisfied, and inclining my head, I breathed an exquisite and refreshing air. The being of light looked at me with identification and condescension, then slowly moved down his hand, and went away becoming every time smaller. He was a being of pure love, light and energy. The guides appeared then again, curious and kind, and  were ready to take me back.
I jumped and fell down at horrendous speed with the sensation of a fire ball. I could not stand the friction and the unbearable noise. At the moment  of maximum friction and  sound, I accepted rather to be dead. But to my surprise, the guides told me telepathically with luminous words, to relax for I soon would arrive. I then felt an explosion of white and red marmalade and traveled with it , contrary to its flux. I finally fell ,with a dry and heavy fall, weighing tons, to see myself sitting on my bed with my eyes open and burning. I felt a deep pain near my heart, a pain  almost unbearable and a great difficulty to breath. My body was rigid, my arms could not move. The feet were frozen and I could not move them either. I could only allow threads of air enter my lungs, or else, they would hurt.  I felt a little dizzy and the  pain in the chest was still intense. I  was unconscious for a moment, but when I managed to move my waist, I closed my eyes and lied down. I was still hearing internal and external noises and zumming. The pain in my heart lasted with intensity for one hour and a half.
I managed to go to the bathroom, feeling as tired as ever in my life. I then went back to bed and slept for 12 hours. When I woke up, I remembered the guides told me, how my wife, my daughter and myself would die. I saw my future completely , and that of my daughter. But I had been told I would only remember fragments in certain moments. The guides told me that my life would continue as tortuous as it had been, but with small satisfactions.  It could not be changed because it was programmed, but it was very constructive and for the purpose of evolution.
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