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One of the internet's most comprehensive sites on the near-death phenomenon!

Susan - "Can you stand the pain?"

The following is an account of my near-death experience and healing:
In 1988, I developed one of the first known cases of Type A Strep Pneumonia (commonly called flesh-eating) . The illness developed within one day with no warning symptoms. The cause of my illness was not diagnosed or treated for three days. The strep settled in my blood stream and was literally eating my blood.
In the afternoon of the third day, I noticed the noisy hospital ward was suddenly very quiet. I felt the whole of who I am condense into a ball of energy beside and about one foot higher than my bed. As soon as I realized that, I was out of body.
I was acutely aware my decision-making did not factor in my husband and three-year old daughter. I was angry. I cursed which is out-of-character. I was very unhappy. I put on my no-nonsense, very fast city walk and went looking for Jesus.
The first area I went through looked and felt like a room of chocolate pudding. There were huddled dark figures and a light-filled doorway. I did not enjoy being in that room, and quickly walked to the door and went through. Now, I know that room was a comforting holding area for souls who could not or would not acknowledge they were dead.
I hurried up an incline in a light-filled space, cursing all the way. The only being I saw was a laughing Jesus, facing forward with only his head turned toward me. I was reminded of Jack Benny’s quirky smile and head shake. Jesus’ smile was gentle and he looked like I was amusing him. Jesus said to me “accidents happen,” which I knew meant my death was premature. He asked me, “Can you stand the pain?” I said “yes” without thinking about the consequences, and immediately returned to my body.
Within the hour the proper antibiotic was administered, although the medical staff thought the treatment was too late to save me. The strep and the pneumonia were completely gone from my system within two days. Even the doctors called my recovery a miracle, as they do to this day.
In the 14 years since my near-death experience, I’ve realized that “the pain” meant more than the physical after effects of the illness. I do struggle with constant physical pain and asthma triggered by the pneumonia; the emotional pain of living has been equally hard to endure. However, I could not think of trading my decision to come back to my body for the easier choice of staying with my friend Jesus.
I learned that I should like who I am on earth because that will be the essence of who I am when I am dead. The essence of who I am includes my actions and their ripple effects. This knowledge passed over me in a wave as soon as I realized that ball of energy was actually me.
I know that the spiritual plane of existence is close to the physical plane. My own very excellent intuition turned into usually accurate psychic ability after my near-death experience.
I know that I looked for Jesus because I am Catholic, and that others will see their own religious figure. I know Jesus has a sense of humor, and remembers what it is like to be a human. Knowing Jesus is a friend who understands is a great comfort.
I know that because my choice is to try to live my life as if in prayer,my near-death experience was simple to understand and to define.
I know that the parameters of our lives on Earth are planned, and we are given free choice within that plan. Fundamentally, the reason we are put on this earth is to love and to learn.
The pain I returned to from my near-death experience was almost unendurable. The very air hurt. Even so, I was truly shocked to learn I had an unpleasant NDE. I was surprised to find out my little triangle family had always thought so as well. I am an extremely calm person with great emotional depth. It makes sense that it took violent emotion to pull me away from God and back into my body to fulfill His plan.
My spirit, my consciousness, my entire being was immersed in God. It was a sacred privilege to know God in such a complete way that theretofore I had only experienced in droplets. His gift was to carry that feeling and that knowing with me today.
I am not afraid to die. Dying is easy. I cannot ever remember being afraid to die, except I had been bothered by a vague sense of dying from something stupid. After my near-death experience, I do fear not living as full and as long a life as possible.
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